Separation Anxiety

posted on Wednesday, May 21, 2025 in Pet Help

Separation AnxietyHow do I know if my dog has separation anxiety?

Separation anxiety describes dogs that are overly attached or dependent on family members. They become extremely anxious and show distress behaviors of vocalization, destruction, house-soiling, or inactivity when separated from their owners. Most dogs with separation anxiety try to remain close to their owners and become increasingly anxious the greater the separation. They may follow the owners from room to room and begin to display signs of anxiety as soon as the owners prepare to leave.

Some of these dogs crave a great deal of physical contact and attention from their owners and can be demanding. During departures or separations, they may begin to salivate or pant profusely, vocalize, eliminate, refuse to eat, become destructive, or become quiet and withdrawn. Most often, these behaviours occur within about 20 minutes of the owner’s departure. While typically the behaviour occurs every time the owner leaves, it can only happen on selected departures, such as work-day departures, or when the owner leaves again after coming home from work.

Are there other reasons that my dog may engage in these behaviors?

  • Boredom: Many dogs, especially puppies, enjoy chewing and engage in the behaviour when they have nothing better to keep them occupied.
  • Medical concerns: House-soiling may be due to medical problems, leaving the dog alone for longer than it can control its bladder, or inadequate house-training.
  • Vocalization: may be due to territorial intrusion by strangers or other animals, and can be a rewarded behaviour if the dog receives any form of attention when it vocalizes or is rewarded by the stimulus leaving.
  • Confinement anxiety: Some dogs attempt to escape or become extremely anxious when confined, so that destructiveness or house-soiling when a dog is locked up in a crate, basement, or laundry room, may be due to confinement or barrier anxiety and associated attempts at escape.
  • Noise phobias: Thunderstorms that pass through during the owner’s absence may lead to marked destructiveness, house-soiling, salivation, and vocalisation.

What can I do immediately to prevent damage?

The goal of treatment is to reduce your pet’s level of anxiety by training it to feel comfortable in your absence. This can be a long, intensive process. Yet, most owners will need to deal with the damage or vocalisation immediately.

During initial retraining, it may be best to:

  • Hire a dog sitter
  • Take the dog to work
  • Fund a friend to care for the dog for the day
  • Board the dog for the day
  • Arrange to take some time off from work to retrain the dog

Crate training or dog proofing techniques may work especially for those dogs that already have an area where they are used to being confined. Crates should be used with caution, however, with dogs that have separation anxiety and/or also have barrier frustrations because they can severely injure themselves attempting to get out of a crate. It is important to choose a room or area that does not further increase the dog’s anxiety.

Lastly, punishment for destruction or house-soiling when you return is contraindicated. The destruction or house-soiling is a result of the pet’s anxiety, not “spite” or being “mad” that you left. Punishment will only serve to make the pet more anxious at your return.

Retraining your dog during departures

Since the underlying problem is anxiety, try to reduce all forms of anxiety before departure, at the time of departure, and at the time of homecoming. In addition, the pet must learn to accept progressively longer periods of inattention and separation while the owners are at home.

What should be done before departures?
  1. Exercise your dog before leaving: Before any lengthy departure, provide a vigorous session of play and exercise. This not only helps to reduce some of the dog’s energy and tire it out, but also provides a period of attention. A brief training session can also be a productive way to further interact and “work” with your dog.

  2. Ignore before leaving: For the final 15-30 minutes prior to departure, the dog should be ignored. It would be best if your dog were trained to go to its rest and relaxation area with a radio, TV, or video playing, as the owner could then prepare for departure while the pet is out of sight and earshot of the owner.
  3. Avoid departure cues: The key is to avoid as many of the departure signals as possible, so that the dog’s anxiety doesn’t heighten, even before the owner leaves. Brushing teeth, changing into work clothes, or collecting keys, purse, briefcase, or school books, are all routines that might be able to be performed out of sight of the dog. Owners might also consider changing clothes at work, preparing and packing a lunch the night before, or even leaving their car at a neighbor’s so the dog wouldn’t hear the car pulling out of the driveway.
  4. Distractions: A few minutes before departure, the dog should be given some fresh toys and objects to keep it occupied (see below) so that the owner can leave while the dog is distracted. Saying goodbye will only serve to bring attention to the departure.

When you return, stay calm and ignore your dog until they settles (10–15 minutes). Don’t greet them excitedly or scold them for any messes—they need to learn that departures and arrivals are no big deal.

My dog starts to get anxious even before I leave. What can I do?

Avoiding predictable cues: There are several activities that we do consistently before each departure. The dog soon learns to identify these cues or signals with imminent departure.

  • Prevent the dog from observing these cues: 
    • Consider wearing casual clothes when you leave and change at work.
    • Leave your jacket, purse, briefcase, or other work items in the car or place them there 30 minutes prior to leaving.
    • Confine (and train) the dog to stay in a room where it cannot see or hear you preparing to leave.

What about the pre-departure signals that I cannot avoid?

Even with the best of efforts, some dogs will still pick up on “cues” that the owner is about to depart. Train your pet to associate these cues with enjoyable, relaxing situations (rather than the anxiety of impending departure). By exposing the dog to these cues while you remain at home and when the dog is relaxed or otherwise occupied, they are no longer predictive of departure.

"Faking" Departures at home:

  1. Gather the items (keys, shoes, briefcase, jacket, etc.) that normally signal your departure, and walk to the door. However, do not leave; just put everything away.
  2. Your dog will be watching and possibly get up, but once you put everything away, the dog should lie down. Once the dog is calm, repeat the action.
  3. Eventually, the dog will not attend to these cues (habituate) because they are no longer predictive of you leaving and will not react, get up, or look anxious as you go about your pre-departure tasks. This often allows the next step in re-training, planned departures.

What can be done to retrain the dog to reduce the dependence and the following behavior?

The most important aspect of retraining is to teach the dog to be independent and relaxed in your presence. Only when you have taught the dog to stay in place in its bed or relaxation area, rather than constantly following you around, will it be possible to train the dog to accept your departures.

  1. Ignore attention-seeking behaviors:  Any attempts at attention must be ignored. On the other hand, lying quietly away from you should be rewarded.
  2. Reward calm behavior and independence: Teach your dog that it is the quiet behavior that will receive attention, and not following you around, or demanding attention.
  3. Designate a "calm" spot/space: Teach your dog to relax in its quiet area and to accept lengthy periods of inattention when you are home. Then he or she is used to this routine when you depart. For some dogs, this may mean a formal program of “down”/”stays” (see below).

How can I teach my dog to accept my departures?

Formal retraining should be directed at teaching your dog to remain on its mat, in its bed, or in its crate or den area, for progressively longer periods (30 minutes or more).

  1. Teaching your dog to remain in place: Start by using a favored treat as a prompt. Hold it in front of your dog, have them sit or lie down on command, and give the food, praise, and petting. At the next few commands, hold your hand out, but hide the food so that the dog is not certain whether it is there or not. Progress from a 1-second sit, to 2 seconds, then 3 seconds, etc., until the dog will sit for at least 60 seconds.
  2. Adding the "stay" command: Holding up the hand prompt, saying “sit”, then “stay”, and walking 2 or 3 steps away. Have the dog stay for 60 seconds, and then walk back and give the reward with the dog staying in position.
    • Once your dog stays in place for 1 minute while you go across the room, sit, and return, switch to intermittent rewards. Patting and praise is given every time, but food is only given every 2nd, 3, or 4th time. However, for each new step in training, use the food reward the first time or two. If you have trouble proceeding to this step, change to a leash and head halter to ensure success.
  3. Create a calming environment: The balance of the training should proceed in the dog’s quiet or resting area, using as many cues as possible to help relax the dog. Mimic the secure environment that the dog feels when the owner is at home: Leave the TV on, play a favorite video or CD, leave a favorite blanket or chew toy in the area. These all help to calm the dog. You are teaching the dog to stay in its bed or confinement area for progressively longer periods before you return and give the reward. Initially, train the dog to stay for 1 minute while you cross the room, return, and give either the food or praise and affection. Increase this up to 30 minutes. From this point on, your dog should be encouraged to stay in its bed or crate for extended periods rather than sitting at your feet or on your lap.
  4. Begin leaving the room: Next, you begin to leave the room. Hold up your hand as a prompt, give the ‘down-stay’ command, walk across the room, and go out of sight for a short time before returning to give the reward. Gradually make departures longer until the dog will tolerate leaving for up to 30 minutes.
  5. Practice "mock" departures: Finally, practice short “mock” departures. During “mock” or graduated departure training, the dog should be exercised, given a short formal training session, and taken to its bed or mat to relax. Give the ‘down-stay’ command, a few toys and treats, and leave. The first few "mock" departures should be just long enough to leave and return without any signs of anxiety or destructiveness. This might last from a few seconds to a couple of minutes. Gradually but randomly increase the time (e.g., 30 seconds, 1 minute, 2 minutes, 1, 2, 3, 2, 5, 7, 4, 7, 10, etc.). As the time of departures approaches 10 or 15 minutes, begin to include other activities associated with departure, such as opening and closing the car door and returning, turning on and off the car engine, and returning or pulling the car out of the driveway and returning.

Many dogs that destroy their homes when left alone will stay in a car or van without becoming anxious or destructive. This is because the dog has learned to relax and enjoy the car ride, without the need for constant physical attention and contact. And, when the owner does leave this relaxed dog in the car, the departures are generally quite short. The owner may occasionally leave the dog in the car during longer absences. The owner has trained the dog using inattention, relaxation, and a graduated departure technique. What is very important is to progress slowly through the series of departures.  When you return, the dog is anxious or extremely excited, then the departure was too long, and the next one should be shorter. This is an effective technique, but very slow in the beginning. The goal is to teach the dog “my owner is only going to be gone for a short time; they are coming right back; I can be good.”

Is drug therapy useful?

Drug therapy can be used, especially during initial departure training. Tranquillizers alone do not reduce the pet’s anxiety and may only be helpful to sedate your dog so that it is less likely to investigate and destroy. Often, the most suitable drugs for long-term use are antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs, or a combination. Used correctly, they may significantly decrease the time taken to train the dog to be less anxious when left alone. However, drugs alone will do little or nothing to improve separation anxiety and need to be used in combination with behavioral modification techniques. It is the retraining program that is needed to help your dog gain some independence and accept some time away from you.